If you love your Smirnoffs, Absoluts, and Belvederes, then this might not be your favorite article; however, it has come to our attention that America’s bartenders have a few things to say about your buddy, vodka.
Every night bartenders work hard to make sure everyone remains happy with a drink in their hand. They have to deal with a lot, but it’s not the loud sports fans or the drunken idiots that really get to them; apparently, it’s vodka!
According to the Distilled Spirits Council of the United States, we really love our vodka. Thirty-two percent of U.S. spirit consumption is all vodka! These statistics might make you think bartenders would be happy to whip up a vodka cocktail for one of their patrons, but they actually find it beyond annoying. After some research, we found that bartenders believe anyone who orders a vodka tonic or a vodka soda doesn’t know their booze at all. We get it; sometimes you’re at a dive bar, you panic, and feel like if you took one more second to think of your drink order, your bartender would be gone for all eternity. Still, they would appreciate some more effort than ordering the easiest thing to remember on the menu; plus, we’re sure they’d like chance to show off their impressive mixology skills.
Bartenders also might dislike vodka because they think it doesn’t have a taste. We know vodka isn’t as smokey as bourbon, but there is definitely a taste in there, especially if you drink it straight! However, the highest quality vodkas in fact don’t have a harsh taste. Since the Rubenoffs and Brunettes often taste like nail polish remover, good vodka is smooth and mild, but bartenders disapprove.
Many bartenders who work at bars with a fixed menu also find that vodka steals the show. No matter how many innovative concoctions they think of, their staple vodka drink is always ordered the most frequently and has the highest rating on Yelp. They may find their vodka cocktails impossible to replace, but at least they’re getting lots of business! So, alas. You might not get your bartender friend to taste one of your famous vodka cocktails, but you can definitely still order one from them behind the bar!
Vodka doesn’t steal the show where I work. The top selling one is a bourbon drink. How? Catchy name (Hungry Like the Wolf) and ingredients like elderflower, Pimm’s citrus, and ginger. In fact, we don’t even have a vodka drink on the menu, but we will gladly substitute it in any drink or make any drink you can name or describe. I believe the code word for our top selling one with gin is “Naked Like the Wolf” but I have only made about a dozen of those over all (versus 30-50 on a single busy weekend night).
Indeed, some good vodkas have flavors when sipped neat. But once mixed, it is a hollow part in the flavor contribution aspect (and it takes up a lot of the drink’s volume unless it’s a highball).