Ran across this at thedailymeal.com. It’s a great way to compartmentalize people and make sweeping generalizations that may (and probably are) or may not be true.


See what signal you’re sending.


Martini: If you’re a guy, you’re trying to impress (and it’s probably working). If you’re a girl drinking a dirty martini, you’re a hot mess: the dirtier, the messier, the hotter.


Vodka on the Rocks: Too self-conscious to actually order a martini.


White Russian: Obsessed with The Big Lebowski, and probably The Daily Show. Or, you just like to drink dessert.


Bud Light: You’re easy going, laid back, and at home at a sports bar. If you’re a girl, you know how to hang with the guys.


Stella Artois: You have no particular knowledge or affinity toward beer so you just order “Stella” cause it’s familiar.


Lillet/Campari/Aperol: You’re twee, and possibly like to throw around words like “mixology.”


Vodka Cranberry: When in doubt, you stick to what you drank in college.


White wine: You’re definitely a woman. You’re possibly a little uptight.


Prosecco: You’re often a little uptight, but tonight you’re looking to party.


Whiskey, neat: You’re hot, regardless of gender.


Jäger: Secretly wishing you were hanging out with your buddies.


Vodka Gimlet: You’re a huge dork, but you hope sort of in a cool way?



Appletini: You’ve left the kids with a sitter and you’re ready to have fun!


Pimm’s Cup: You’re an Anglophile.


Old-Fashioned: Mad Men is your favorite show — you either want to be, or sleep with, Don Draper.


Margarita, on the rocks: You’ve decided to have a good time tonight.


Margarita, frozen: You’re in Cabo.


PBR: You’re drinking quickly on your way to a non-profit fundraiser, followed by a poetry reading in a former industrial warehouse.


Tequila Shots: You’re either getting laid, or just getting through it.


Long Island Iced Tea: You have a drinking problem.


A beer, while at a cocktail bar: Overprotective of your manhood or unadventurous.


A cocktail, while at a dive bar: Insufferable.



Very funny, author Chiara Atik. We owe you one.