Next time you’re out, steer clear of the following:


The Economy

When you’re in the presence of a good brew, have some respect. Save this miserable topic for a more sobering venue, like a TSA checkpoint or the DMV. And to the guy touting ideas on how to solve the deficit–thanks, buddy. Next round’s on you.


Social Networking

Though momentarily satisfying, the potential to damage your social life in 140 characters or less is far too great.


Nutrition Facts

We don’t know how many calories are in cheese fries, and they taste better that way. Your calorie counter app is no good here. Neither is your friend who wants to rid the world of gluten/carbs/animal products.


Relationship Woes

Your friends are even sicker of your ex than you are. Kindly check baggage at the door.


Disney Movies

Emotions are heightened by alcohol, and some of us are still sensitive about a particular wildebeest stampede.



The Future

Many a good time has been ruined by three words. “It’s getting late.” Any reference to morning or future responsibilities can drag down the whole group. Keep that kind of talk away from our happy hour–even if the bar’s about to close.