As a fresh-faced 21-year-old, I’m new to the bar scene. I’m still learning the ins and outs of nightlife but have managed to nail a few of the basics, such as:
-Tipping the bartender generously might get you a free round
-Opening a tab is easy—remembering to close it is not
-You make more friends in the line for the ladies room than you ever did at summer camp
There’s one thing, however, I am still pretty unsure about.
Guys ordering drinks for girls is a customary mating ritual in the bar setting. In very few places across this country do people buy things for total strangers. You don’t see guys putting quarters in a cute girl’s parking meter, or covering the cost of their groceries. But girls can slip into a sexy dress and head to the bar with little to no cash on them, knowing that simply catching a guy’s eye is as good as a part-time job.
So here is my question: If I see a cute guy at a bar, can I buy him a drink?
My inclination is that I should just go for it. It’s a bold move, but if the guy I’m interested in can’t handle a little female independence, I’m probably not really interested! However, I can’t help but wonder…is it a little too forward?
Cheers,
Leanne
I say go for it. You’re right…if they can’t deal, you don’t want them. I would it refreshingly outside the box
Traditionally, it is always the guy buying the drink for the girl. But honestly, in this day and age, so many things have changed, and if a girl wants to buy a drink, what is wrong with that? I’d be flattered if a girl offerred, and why shouldn’t she? Because of some old tradition?
So if she wants to..why not?!
If a lady bought me a drink I’d have to slap myself just to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. I only hope it’d be a nice man drink like scotch on the rocks and not Malbu and Diet Coke or an Appletini. Even then… I’d probably still like it. A lot.
I’m also a 21 year old girl and I bought a guy a drink two weeks ago. He was just home from Afghanistan and I figured it was the patriotic thing to do. I’ve bought other guys drinks, but not til after they’ve bought me one.
The thing is, if some girl was buying me a drink, I would be like… what?! LIKE WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GOING ON?! But that would be cool because I would have a drink to drink. So you should do it, cuz then he will be like…. cool, I have a drink to drink! But careful that you don’t buy a drink for an alcoholic man because then he will be like… oooohhhh noooo i have a drink to drink.
I would be uncomfortable if a girl bought me a drink. I think maybe now we are at the point where no one should buy anyone drinks. Everyone knows that some people just go out looking to “be bought drinks” so maybe it is best to just drink the drinks that you buy yourself while talking to other people who have also bought their own drinks. And if that goes well, then go to the liquor store and buy a bottle of New Amsterdam and a six pack of Miller High Life and head to the playground for a real conversation.
I am a 49 year old woman, and I say “go for it!”. Why not? In this age on online dating, it’s often the woman who has to initiate winks, “gifts”, and nudges to get people to take notice of you if you are interested in them. I think it’s great. It’s just a drink…not a proposal for marriage!!!
I think with the changing times, its not a bad thing. Its a cool way to meet the cute guy you see across the room, if it doesn’t work out, its only the price of a drink….who knows, you could click, and make a date to take a walk. It could be the start of something good. Go for it Girls! You will never know if you don’t try.
Such an INTERESTING question. Because, I, as a woman, want to be bought a drink. But what is a drink? Is it a jack and coke? Is it a Bud Light? Is it a Jaegerbomb? What does buying each mean for yourself, and what does it mean to have that bought for you? I think the best thing is just to stay inside with the animals who love you. I never want to get hurt again.
I say that is GROSS. If you want to be a you-know-what MAYBE its ok. Even then though it is bordering on (prostitute). I mean, we know what girls are for, and we know what guys are for and BUYING DRINKS is in the top ten things GUYS are FOR so DONT TAKE THAT AWAY FROM US…. please.
Interesting thoughts guys!
Dave and V.A., I agree- from the guy’s perspective, it would definitely be a surprise! And who doesn’t love a surprise?
Also21, that’s a pretty good rule of thumb to follow. If the guy buys you a drink, return the favor! But good job stepping out of the norm recently and making the move first…it takes courage!
Not Too Old and Even Older, I like your attitudes! Might as well go for it. What’s the worst that could happen, right?
Carl and Zach, it makes sense that a girl buying a drink makes you a little uncomfortable, its a total shock. What else could she do to spark your interest?
So, TonyB brings up a good point. If buying a drink for a guy is deemed acceptable and almost encouraged, then what kind of drink does a guy want to receive from a girl? Does he want to get a taste of her personality by getting something that she would buy for herself, or does he expect the girl to do some guesswork?
Cheers!
-Leanne
I think it would be nice, but I wouldn’t go out expecting it. If a girl bought me a drink it would be like getting bonus points in the side-scroller video game level that is going out to bars/clubs. There is no reason why she shouldn’t either. As a shy man I would find it incredibly refreshing if a girl has the guts to not only break with her socially created and prescribed roll but to also make the first step if she is feeling it instead of waiting for me to (which generally takes much much longer). Cut out the heteronormative middle man!