We’re not the type of people who need a reason to drink. If we’re breathing that’s reason enough. But for those who need more, here you go:
1. Bad Deflategate Jokes: Nobody watches the Super Bowl alone, so there’s no doubt you’ll be surrounded by a few guys who can’t stop laughing every time they hear the word “balls”.
2. Tom Brady’s Perfect Family: Every Sunday his supermodel wife posts a picture of his adorable kids getting ready to watch their all-star dad play football. It’s so beautiful that it kind of hurts.
3. Katy Perry’s Voice: If you drink enough, it barely pierces a hole in your eardrum.
4. Make Up For Last Year: We all remember the wasted 30s bought to watch what ended up being a huge blowout last year. Drink to their memory, and pray we never live through that kind of nightmare again.
5. So You Don’t Get Fined: It’s the rules.