I was recently thinking about the idea of responsible drinking and the evolution of the rally cry of ads around the topic from every drink company on the planet.

Drink responsibly, friends don’t let friends drive drunk, know when to say when, etc. All fair and important statements, but when delivered as homilies by big institutions, my sense is that the impact is the same one parents have when they tell their kids what to do. I hear you, it just doesn’t resonate as a critical piece of information.


So, in thinking about the drink warnings, I started wondering if these things would have more impact if they were accompanied by some details or examples. Like maybe drawn from real life. I thought I would kick off the movement with fair lessons from my own life, if only to see if this connects better with drinkers and might make the advisory notes have some meaning. Here goes:


Drink responsibly, or you might end up in the back of someone’s old Saab 900 a few states over from where you had that first Tequila shot. Granted the sixth Tequila shot was the one that really started the issue, but you should know from remedial biology that the body is intended to be 90% water, not 20% Blue Agave.


Know when to say when, so you don’t get thrown out of the Rangers game because your over-served friends (Alt and Pmar) are shooting bottle caps onto the ice during the game. Note: when this happened they actually sold those old glass bottles of Bud in Madison Square Garden. And the Rangers were good. Second note: Even if you aren’t the problem, your shouting loud obscenities at security as they haul everyone out makes you look like you’re fairly invested in it.


Call a cab when you’ve had too much to drink. One clear thought on this: why have your childhood buddy Jerry hurl in your rockin little VW when he can easily splatter the back of a cab and just tip a couple more bucks? Or run.


Granted, on reflection these small and humble additions to the standard warnings may not do the trick for everyone, but maybe they will have some greater meaning to someone. Even if it’s only my old pal Jerry.


Cheers from the bar,
Wallace K.