We’re not the type of people who need a reason to drink. If we’re breathing that’s reason enough. But for those who need more, here you go:
1. Passover: No Friday night bar hopping if you’re celebrating Passover. That means you’ll have to make up for it at the Seder. Stock up on Manischewitz, and hope for the best.
2. Lunar Eclipse: The west coast is getting a front row seat to a lunar eclipse this weekend. Prepare for your entire Instagram feed to be blurry, over-filtered pictures of the moon.
3. Tidal: Jay-Z and pretty much every other musician you can name released a new, paid streaming service this week. We’re just over here counting the days until the Illuminati takes over the entire planet.
4. Opening Day: After a long winter, Sunday marks the official start of baseball season. Here’s to 6 months of drinking outdoors and yelling insults at outfielders from the bleacher seats.
5. Easter: If you aren’t in the Passover club, chances are good you’re in for a day of forced family bonding come Sunday. Fill a cooler, hide behind a tree, and pretend you got lost during the egg hunt.