So you’ve decided to give your life to becoming a college professor. As if guiding our youth through their college years wasn’t hard enough, all you have to do now is swear off alcohol, tobacco, and extramarital sex.
Sound crazy? Well at the Moody Bible Institute in Chicago, that’s exactly what faculty has been signing up for since 1886. This college has held their faculty to this crazy standard due to their super conservative status. But this month the trustees at Moody Bible lifted their alcohol ban due to difficulties recruiting employees (shocking). With this rule now overturned their employees are finally free from this unspeakable tyranny.
Professor Michael McDuffee, a former Marine, and professor at the Moody Bible Institute for the last twenty years summed up his experience by saying, “I had been a man convinced that three drinks can quench our thirst: milk, lemonade, and a cold beer, and for 20 years I was drinking milk and lemonade.” You can feel the pain in his words.
We can now officially raise a glass to Moody Bible for restoring the milk, lemonade, and cold beer trifecta. If you’re in the Chicago area make sure that Professor McDuffee and his colleagues have their cocktails paid for as we welcome them back to the drinking community with open arms.