office christmas party rules

Depending on where you work, your office holiday party may be something you look forward to… or it could be something that makes you want to purposely get food poisoning the night before. Whether it’s fun or not, you kind of have to go. If you don’t go, you’re the guy who “doesn’t care about the company” or “thinks he’s better than everyone else.” That may be true, but this is the holiday season, damnit; it’s the one time of year that you have to pretend you care.


The best thing about most office holiday parties is not the Yankee swap or free food – it’s the booze. It’s usually free and a great way to take the edge off socializing with people who generally make you want to poke your eyes out with a candy cane. Drinking also helps you find other people who like drinking – who knew Dave from Accounting can throw them back?


The holiday party, however, is not your free pass to act like a jackass. Do you know how many people are fired the Monday morning following their office party? Yeah, we don’t either… but we bet it’s a lot. Here are our tips to surviving the company party:


  • Eat before you leave for the party. Have some kind of carb-filled snack because it’s going to do two things for you: 1) Keep you from getting to drunk too soon and 2) keep you from being the guy that eats all the appetizers before dinner. That snack is going to be your key to staying in control.


  • Don’t get drunk. You will not be funnier, more attractive or more “awesome.” You will be awful. Sip slowly, have water in between drinks and don’t embarrass yourself.


  • Charm the boss: Make it a point to have a nice conversation with your boss and his wife, but don’t talk too long. Talk just long enough that his wife walks away thinking you’re wonderful (and telling her husband so). Brownie points for you. Before you continue mingling, offer to get a drink for them. Consider it a down payment on your next promotion.


The bottom line is that the office party is not the time to get rowdy. Handle it like a gentleman and pack some Advil for the next morning.