via Giphy

We’re going to go out on a limb and guess what your morning was like.

First, for reasons unclear, you turned on your morning alarm last night. A demon deep inside told you that you had “things to do today.” Pshhhh. You know that it’s never a good idea to wake up at eight o’clock after five and a half hours of unconsciousness. Curse drunk you.

After seriously questioning your decision making skills, you decided it was time to do whatever you had to in order to come out of this miserable state alive. And if we had to guess, we’d say that you chose greasy food.

WELL eager beavers, you’re in luck, because (ICYMI) today is Nation Greasy Food Day, and we’re bringing you pseudoscientific guide to the most effective, most popular, and most delicious greasy foods around. Hang in there trooper, salvation awaits.

We asked the DIA team to give their two cents on greasy hangover food. We’ve outlined their brilliance below.

Most popular foods

Fried Food. Eggs. Bacon. Pizza. These are the keys to happiness. Even though your body may be hating you, your spirit will thank you. Or, as one member of our team said,

“French fries are the cure to any hangover because they are soothing and beautiful golden nugs. I also love pizza with dressing because the flavors make my heart flutter with excitement.”

Most popular drinks

Fountain sodas. Coca-cola specifically, or Diet Coke if that’s your thing. But that mix of sugar, caffeine, and carbonation will for sure bring you back to life.

“A large Coke from McDonald’s is clutch – the best ice and wide mouth straw around… No other fountain soda compares.”

Other tips?

“Sleep. Watch The Office. Die a thousand deaths.”

Pain killers, drink lots of water, wish that I didn’t have to be awake, sleep.”

“Sleep, lie around & moan, possibly drink 1 beer or glass of wine to get back to neutral.”