CWNUT-UU8AAt6ScWowzers. All of a sudden, election season is upon us. And it’ll be a doozy, folks. So far, it’s been more of a bad reality TV show than a presidential election. Where’s the civility? The humility? The humanity?? We’ve always been big supporters of good ol’ American politics, but alas, the outlook seems quite dim at this point. To cope with the stresses of the next 7 months, we’ll surely kick back more than a few drinks, and while we’re at it, it couldn’t hurt to make light of the situation. Thanks to Austin-based restaurant, The Townsend, we can drink to each candidate individually. Our fav? The Ben Carson. 

Checkout their brilliant “Cocktails for Candidates” menu:

A Manhattan made with Canadian whisky because if he wins we’re moving to Vancouver

A can of Lone Star and a shot of Fernet, but the bartender gets to drink the shot

A rye whiskey Ole Fashioned that’s really actually pretty great, but maybe you should have ordered something more exciting

A $157 million vodka soda that never actually shows up

John Kasich
A perfectly reasonable cocktail that you are still not gonna order, so why bother describing it?

Marco Rubio
A classic, Cuban-style daiquiri

Ted Cruz
The same as Marco Rubio’s daiquiri, but somehow a lot less likable

Ben Carson
Some warm milk and an Ambien
Set a $20 bill on fire