CelebSpiritsBeing a celebrity means you’re no longer just good at your chosen profession, whether you’re an actor, athlete or musician – you’re a brand now. And these brands seem to love to lend their names and likenesses to any project that will pay them handsomely…even if they don’t know a damn thing about perfume, shoes or liquor.


Ahh yes, the celebrity liquor brand. Our new favorite thing. (Not.)


We’ve written about a few celebrity brands recently, like Brad and Angelina’s new line of wines, but which ones are actually good? And which ones should we save to serve to our worst enemies?


We like starting with good news, so here are the celebrities who have done something right with their liquor deals…


Diddy and Ciroc Vodka – Diddy hasn’t really been doing too much in the way of music lately, so you may be surprised to know that he topped Forbes’ Hip-Hop’s Wealthiest Artists list this year. What gave him a net worth higher than Jay-Z? He’s got a sponsorship with Ciroc that entitles him to eight-figure annual payouts and a nine-figure windfall is the brand is ever sold.


Sammy Hagar and Cabo Wabo Tequila – After opening “Hagar’s Cabo Waco Cantina” in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, Hagar set out to make an amazing house tequila for his customers. This resulted in a smash hit on American liquor shelves – Cabo Wabo Tequila is the second best selling premium tequila in the U.S., right behind Jose Cuervo. Hagar eventually sold the brand and his payout was $94 million dollars. No, that number is not a typo.


Drew Barrymore and Barrymore Wines – Drew’s venture is a new kid on the block, but we wanted to give her some credit because she’s getting good buzz. In addition to making a profit, she’s also using her line to benefit a bunch of charities. Barrymore Pinot Grigio also nabbed a Gold Medal at the 2012 Sunset International Wine Competition Le Challenge International du Vin.


And the brands that kind of (okay, really) suck? We thought you’d never ask.


Donald Trump and Trump Vodka – For a savvy business man, Trump really blew this one.


Ed Hardy and Ed Hardy Vodka – Imagine what the cast of the Jersey Shore would taste like if they were a liquor and this is what you’d get.


MMMHop IPA and Hanson – This beer isn’t even out yet, but we don’t care. The name is so dumb and Hanson doesn’t seem to realize that the last time they were relevant was in 1999.


It does seem like most celebrity liquor brands are pretty decent, but we’d prefer if future liquor brands were actually released by celebrities that had an extreme interest in their creation. If they have a true talent for crafting delicious spirits, we fully support them…if not, we’d rather pay to see their concert than their $20 bottle of liquid garbage.