Do you like creepy paintings of The Golden Girls?

Christmas trees made out of Schlitz cans?

Giant busts of Elvis?

Then mosey on down to The Delux Café on Chandler Street in Boston, MA.

DISCLAIMER: Before you read on, you should know that we’re talking about a real, honest-to-goodness dive bar. Not a new, millennial spot masquerading as a dive, but a joint that proudly serves Bud Heavy and High Life. So fru fru, houtey toutey drinkers need not read on.

Still with me? Excellent.

Besides their eclectic décor, Delux has everything else you could want in a dive: Good grub, decent beers, and a very surly waitress.

First, the food. From Braised Short Rib with Gnocchi to a Fried Green Tomato Sandwich with stewed peppers and fontina cheese, Delux serves up comfort food that’s different from you everyday bar fare. You’ll feel like you’re eating at some expensive new spot in the Seaport as you shovel pan-seared scallops and St. Louis ribs down your gullet, but then you’ll look up and see a Light Bright that says, “Cash Only” and remember where you are.

Now the beers. It’s everything you’d want a dive bar beer list to be and more. All of your old friends are there, from Narragansett to PBR to High Life, and even some craft brews too. If all this divey fun has got you feeling a little dangerous, ask for the $5 brown-bagged mystery shot and have yourself a nice night.

On to the ambiance. It’s perfect. The weird mix of crap Delux has hanging on its walls is a feast for the eyes. So if your friends are constantly tweeting, ‘graming, and snapping, you’ll have something to look up at while they’re looking down at their phones. And the waitstaff. Make that waitress. There’s one manning the entire bar and she’s not afraid to let you know it. Here’s a tip: When she’s ready to take your order, know what you want or be prepared for the withering stare she’ll have waiting for you.

Last but not least, Delux doesn’t have a website. So if you want to check them out, you’ll just have to go and see for yourself.

God I love this place.