We’re not the type of people who need a reason to drink. If we’re breathing that’s reason enough. But for those who need more, here you go:

1. No Shave November: You know what would be interesting? To collect survey results on women’s libido averages across from October to December. We’re thinking there is a pretty big drop somewhere in middle. There is something about a mustache that is just so #notathing anymore. But, of course, we’re all for the cause!

2. Uber Update:  Leader of the ride-hailing category, Uber now wants to “know what you want before you want it.” All we have to say is we’re not even sure what we want for dinner tonight so this might be a stretch, Uber. “But Uber, I just don’t know what I want!” (sighs and thinks pensively about the good times… and the bad).

3. Election Day: We know, we know. We’ve said it before – maybe even twice. So we’ll make this quick. We are only certain about one thing about this election: It’s. A. Reason. To. Drink.

4. Green Starbucks Cups: You know what, Starbucks? It’s just so inconsiderate of you to go changing on us like that. The annual red holiday cup is nowhere to be seen this year. Will the snow fall? Will bells even ring? Is it possible that Santa won’t even bother? Here’s hoping Starbucks hears us out.

5. Patient Zero: A study published on Wednesday in Nature cleared the name of “Patient Zero,” a gay French-Canadian flight attendant named Gaeton Dugas who had been accused of bring to North America. After having to live with this stigma for the rest of his life and in memory, turns out HIV had already made its way to New York City around 1971.