We’re not the type of people who need a reason to drink. If we’re breathing that’s reason enough. But for those who need more, here you go:

1. Long Weekend: Memorial Day Weekend is here. If you aren’t drinking, you’re doing it wrong.

2. Spelling Bee: Another year, another tie. This year’s National Spelling Bee brought dabs on dabs on dabs. There truly is no hope for future generations. Raise a glass and pray for a brighter tomorrow.

3. DCOMs: Disney Channel is hosting a four-day marathon of their classic original movies. We’re talking BRINK!, Luck of the Irish and the other movies that made staying in on a Friday night sound cool. The drinking game possibilities are endless.

4. Johnny Depp: Captain Jack is having a tough week. His mother passed away and his wife, Amber Heard, filed for divorce and a domestic violence restraining order. Put a reminder in your Rum Diary to make better life choices.

5. NBA Playoffs: The longest playoffs in the history of sports continue this weekend. With four teams left things are getting heated. Jump on a bandwagon and celebrate or mourn responsibly.