We’re not the type of people who need a reason to drink. If we’re breathing that’s reason enough. But for those who need more, here you go:

1. Melissa McCarthy: After much speculation, Stars Hollow’s favorite chef announced this week that she would be appearing on the Netflix Gilmore Girls reboot. Fans everywhere are rejoicing as her one-woman empire continues to thrive. Cheers to that.

2. American Idol: The OG singing reality show signed off for the last time this week after 15 seasons. We weren’t watching. If you tuned in, we suggest drinking until your memory is cleansed of William Hung’s encore performance.

3. The Masters: People are watching golf this week whether you like it or not. Chances are you won’t be able to win over the remote in your house, so you might actually have to get some fresh air. Good luck out there.

4. Anne Hathaway: After a month of existence, the Princess of Genovia officially announced the birth of her baby boy named Jonathan Rosebanks. The under the radar pregnancy was new territory for celebrity obsessed fans. Pour a glass of wine and speculate wildly as to what else she isn’t telling us.

5. Sam Hinkie: The 76ers General Manager stepped down this week by way of a 13-page letter of resignation. We didn’t read the whole thing, but I think we got the gist. Spend the weekend with a bottle of whiskey and draft a lengthy email telling your employer how you really feel.