We’re not the type of people who need a reason to drink. If we’re breathing that’s reason enough. But for those who need more, here you go:

April Fools: Were you victim to a coworker’s poorly planned/slightly dangerous prank? Pour yourself some good whiskey to cap off the week and plot your revenge.

D’Angelo Russell: A sneaky video that the Lakers youngster took of teammate, Nick Young, hit the Internet this week outing Iggy Azalea’s fiancé as unfaithful. It resulted in some serious tension in the NBA locker room and a thank you tweet from Iggy to Russell. Pop in your DVD of Space Jam and remember happier times.

Final Four: This weekend the men’s and women’s NCAA Tournaments whittle themselves down to the final 2. If you’re lucky enough to still have your brackets in contention, these games could break you. Best of luck and if you lose just remember: there’s always beer.

Beyoncé: The leader of our nation introduced her very own Ivy Park active wear this week. Prices range from $30-$200 and unfortunately don’t come with a look-like-Beyoncé guarantee after use.

Opening Day: Baseball is back this Sunday even if the spring weather isn’t. Throw on your cap, crack open some peanuts and prepare your very best drunken taunts for when your rivals come to town.