We’re not the type of people who need a reason to drink. If we’re breathing that’s reason enough. But for those who need more, here you go:

1. Republican Debate: We left Thursday’s debate with a little too much knowledge about what dwells beneath Trump’s belt.

2. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot: Tina Fey and Margot Robbie hit the big screen this weekend. Buy a ticket to support the project or just pour yourself a glass of whiskey. They’re pretty much the same thing.

3. Abbi Jacobsen: The Broad City star is releasing an illustrated book called ‘Carry This Book’. It will examine the things people carry. If you read ‘The Things They Carried’ in middle school, expect it to be just like that only completely different.

4. Cumberbunnies: Chocolate Easter bunnies made to look like the popular English actor are hitting the shelves this season. It’s equal parts creepy and awesome. Buy one for eating and another for placing in the corner of your kitchen to scare away children.

5. Kardashians: Kendall dyed her hair, Kylie tried to trademark her first name and Kanye had another Twitter fight. It was another big week for the worst family in America and we had no choice but to hear all about it. Drink to forget that we did this to ourselves.