We’re not the type of people who need a reason to drink. If we’re breathing that’s reason enough. But for those who need more, here you go:

1. Kanye: The self-proclaimed genius finally returned home this week, but not until after a leaked SNL rant hit the Internet making him look like a huge jerk. His choices continue to puzzle us. If his Twitter feed is starting to make sense to you, maybe it’s time to switch to water.

2. Big Ang: Everyone’s favorite Mob Wife lost her battle to cancer this week after a rollercoaster of false news reports. Toast to her memory by drinking straight out of a Big Ang bottle of wine.

3. Fake Doctor: An 18-year-old posing as a doctor in Florida was arrested because that’s 100% illegal. Lawyers have been hired and awkward news appearances have been made. All that’s left to do is sip some whiskey and thank God he didn’t perform your yearly physical.

4. NBA Trade Deadline: It was one of the least exciting trade deadlines in all of history. There were winners, losers and those who just sat quietly in the corner. A big congratulations to the Golden State Warriors who are seemingly taking the trophy this season with no contest. Time to pop some champagne.

5. GIFs: Twitter rolled out a new GIF search feature for all of your reaction needs. Gone are the days of scrolling through giphy.com and clicking ‘save as’. Use all that time you’re saving to mix a cocktail worthy of sipping on loop.