We’re not the type of people who need a reason to drink. If we’re breathing that’s reason enough. But for those who need more, here you go:

1. Jonas: The Mid-Atlantic region is getting their first (and hopefully last) big storm of the winter this weekend. Alcohol, bread and giant shovels just became more valuable than bars of gold. Good luck to those weathering the storm. And remember, if you stay inside long enough it’ll have to melt eventually.

2. Glassdoor: The site released their annual list of best jobs in the US and yours likely wasn’t on it. Take a look at the rankings and dream about a life that might have been if you listened to your uncle when he told you computers were our future.

3. Playoffs: Football fans will be glued to their couches this Sunday to watch Brady V. the corpse formerly known as Peyton Manning and the Panthers v. Cardinals. It’ll be great television and, if nothing else, it’ll be an excuse to eat some great snacks.

4. Scurvy: An infant in Spain has been diagnosed with the disease that they believe was caused by drinking an almond milk-based formula. It’s a disappointment for those of us that thought we had just discovered the youngest pirate in history.

5. Mariah Carey: The diva announced her engagement to James Packer this week which caused all of America to Google “who is James Packer?” Legend has it that if you stare at their picture while stirring your mixed drink, you can hear Nick Cannon crying.