We’re not the type of people who need a reason to drink. If we’re breathing that’s reason enough. But for those who need more, here you go:

1. Kocktails With Khloe: We all have a new, pointless talk show to look forward to staring our favorite Kardashian. If it sounds ridiculous that’s because it is. Mix up a strong concoction if you’re planning to watch more than zero episodes.

2. Hut Swag: Pizza Hut is releasing a line of clothing and accessories to celebrate the pizza lovers of America. Because it’s impossible to tell if someone likes pizza without it plastered on his or her shirt.

3. Resolutions: You already skipped the gym twice this week. Face it. It’s over. Succumb to your need for ice-cold beer.

4. Channing Tatum: His long awaited Lip Sync Battle episode aired this week complete with a Frozen dress, Beyoncé and NSFW dancing. It was a tornado of beauty and talent that left nothing but crushed spirits in its wake.

5. Netflix: The streaming titan announced its plan to expand to 190 countries in 2016, thus reducing the risk of a Taken scenario by 700%. You can’t get abducted abroad if you never leave your room.