We’re not the type of people who need a reason to drink. If we’re breathing that’s reason enough. But for those who need more, here you go:

1. JJ Watt: The defensive legend broke his hand at practice this week, but he still says he’s going to play against the Patriots this weekend. The only way to fight through that kind of pain is with a strong glass of whiskey.

2. Golden Globes: Nominations were announced this week after the award show’s handle tweeted out the wrong Latina actress’s name. Celebrate by drinking so much that you also confuse the names of your favorite celebs on a public forum.

3. Michelle Obama: The first lady released a rap this week telling kids to go to college and proving that her arms aren’t the only thing she’s got on point. Make your own PSA this weekend by acting as cautionary tale for youths at the local bar.

4. Buffalo Wild Wings: The chain is releasing a new Mountain Dew infused wing sauce to celebrate this year’s Citrus Bowl in case coating your insides with regular wing sauce wasn’t cutting it for you. Do your body a favor and wash them down with beer (or maybe even some water..) instead of another serving of the dew. 

5. Call Shia: He’s doing weird things again involving a Google doc and a european phone line. Have a few drinks, give him a call and tell him how your really feel about Disturbia.