We’re not the type of people who need a reason to drink. If we’re breathing that’s reason enough. But for those who need more, here you go:

1. Fat Jewish: Everyone who has ever said anything funny is mad at the lucrative Instagram joke thief known as Fat Jewish. After years of comedians calling him out, enough was finally enough. Take a drink for every time he’s made you laugh with his lies.

2. Fear The Walking Dead: The new series premieres this Sunday and early reviews are looking good. After the success of Better Call Saul, AMC is feeling pretty confident about their prequel spin-offs. But then, Better Call Saul wasn’t called Fear Breaking Bad so…

3. The Duggars: Josh dug himself into an even deeper hole this week when his name popped up for all to see in the Ashley Madison leak. The list of cheaters that resulted from the hack is now searchable, and unfaithful men and women are freaking out. Grab a box of wine before you type your spouse’s name in.

4. Banksy: The anonymous street artist is back with Dismaland, a distopian Disneyland piece of art, because nothing is sacred and joy is a thing best forgotten.

5. Deez Nuts: The popular hood rat exclamation is running as an independent presidential candidate from Iowa and polling rather well against the competition. Go have a few drinks and fill out a presidential application. Deez Nuts can’t be too hard to beat.