We’re not the type of people who need a reason to drink. If we’re breathing that’s reason enough. But for those who need more, here you go:

1. Women’s World Cup: USA plays Japan in the World Cup finals this Sunday. Throw “Proud To Be An American” on repeat and keep the Budweiser flowing until the play clock hits zero.

2. Shia Labeouf: Louis Stevens released a freestyle rap video this week. We aren’t sure why, and we hope it never happens again.

3. Shark Attacks: The 7th attack since May happened in North Carolina this week, and the South Carolina beaches haven’t exactly been shark-free either. Now is the perfect opportunity to grab a can of Gansett and reenact your favorite scenes from Jaws.

4. Leap Second: To keep the world clock on track, we all got an extra second at midnight this past week. It was barely enough time to take a shot, but don’t worry – we did.

5. Bennifer: Affleck and Garner are donezo, but things aren’t looking so bad for Ben. We’re sure his next big romance will be the right fit. You know what they always say, “Third Jennifer’s the charm”.