We’re not the type of people who need a reason to drink. If we’re breathing that’s reason enough. But for those who need more, here you go:

1. The Biebs: Justin and his old friend, Usher, are facing a copyright lawsuit for the song “Somebody to Love” that supposedly has the same rhythm and beat as De Rico’s 2008 song of the same title. Why anyone would want to take credit for that song is a mystery, but there’s 10 million dollars at stake. Do you realize how many regrettable tattoos JB could get with that money??

2. Kangaroos: A recent report determined that most Australian Kangaroos are left-handed (not that anyone was asking). Now you have a fun new nickname for your left-handed friend.

3. Netflix: Your significant other rolled out a new display this week. Change can be hard, but sometimes being in love means compromising.

4. Donald Trump: The Donald announced this week that he’s running for president. It’s a pretty elaborate way to go about canceling Celebrity Apprentice, but we’ll gladly accept the empty time slot.

5. US Open: Basketball and hockey are over for now. Baseball is in its mid-season slump. This is as exciting as it’s going to get for sports fans this weekend. We’re sorry.