We’re not the type of people who need a reason to drink. If we’re breathing that’s reason enough. But for those who need more, here you go:

1. #ParksFarewell: If you were one of over 10.5 million viewers last Tuesday, chances are good that you’re still using tears instead of syrup on your waffles. We’re right there with you. Pour some Lagavulin, Hell… make it Snake Juice, and let visions of Li’l Sebastian dance in your head.

2. Spotify Karaoke: The popular music streaming service announced a new ‘Lyrics’ option to be rolled out in the coming weeks. Which means the guy who quietly sings “We Didn’t Start The Fire” at the desk next to you just got a whole lot more confident in his abilities.

3. Derrick Rose: The unluckiest guy in the NBA tore his meniscus this week putting him on the sidelines indefinitely. Bright side? Bulls fans just got a new drinking buddy.

4. The FCC: The FCC voted to approve Net Neutrality. So now we can watch live llama chases no matter how much money the website streaming them has.

5. The Dress: This image went viral yesterday after some people saw it as black and blue and others believed it to be white and gold. There are a lot of theories as to why this nightmare descended upon us, but one thing we can all agree on is that we would never be caught wearing it. (Also it’s absolutely white and gold. Let’s be real).