We’re not the type of people who need a reason to drink. If we’re breathing that’s reason enough. But for those who need more, here you go:

1.Rogen and Franco: They made a movie that North Korea didn’t like and now America is pissed. We’ll have to wait til next year to hear another dick joke from our favorite celebrity bromance.

2. Fantasy Football Championships: If you’re one of the lucky few who made it this far, you’ll have one hand glued to the remote and the other glued to a can of beer this weekend. Good luck.

3. Finales: Serial AND The Colbert Report came to a close this week. One has only been around for a few months, the other for 9 years. But don’t cry because they’re over…drink.

4. Johns Hopkins: The university sent out almost 300 welcome messages to applicants who didn’t actually make the cut this week. Pour one out for those depressed 18-year-olds.

5. Hanukkah: Fry up some latkes and light the menorah. We’ve got some Manischewitz to drink.