We’re not the type of people who need a reason to drink. If we’re breathing that’s reason enough. But for those who need more, here you go:

1- Beyoncé and Jay-Z: The King and Queen of the music industry will premiere their On The Run Tour HBO Special this weekend. Watch it and take a drink every time you wish you looked like Beyoncé.

2- Derek Jeter: Number 2 played his last career home game this week, and his game-winning hit made it one to remember. Those aren’t tears in our eyes, we just have allergies…

3- iBend?: iPhone 6 Plus users are reporting that their new accessory bends after sitting in their back pockets for a while. How about spending all that money you were saving on something that won’t let you down? Beer.

4- The Situation: Remember him? The Jersey Shore alum pleaded not guilty to charges of tax fraud on Wednesday. Yet another reminder that he made more money drinking at the beach for 4 years than the rest of us will make in a lifetime.

5- Survivor: Survivor premiered their 29th season this week. Even Jeff Probst needs a drink after thinking about how old that makes us all feel.