We’re not the type of people who need a reason to drink. If we’re breathing that’s reason enough. But for those who need more, here you go:

1. Baseball: This week, the Nationals clinched their second NL East title in 3 years, and the Orioles won the AL East for the first time since ‘97. Let’s celebrate like we didn’t forget that baseball was still in season.

2. Leonardo DiCaprio: Leo was recently appointed the UN Messenger for Peace on climate issues, proving that he’s still not over that whole iceberg incident. So raise your glass. It’s what Jack (and Candie and Belfort and Gatsby) would have wanted.

3. Scotland: Scotland voted to stick with the UK on Thursday. And we voted to drink more whiskey. Slainte!

4. Ebola: It’s still out there, and it’s not going away any time soon. But do you know what kills germs? Alcohol.

5. Netropolitan: This new “Facebook for rich people” costs $9,000 to join. That’s the equivalent of about 1,287 Whiskey Gingers, 1,500 glasses of wine, 2,570 pints of beer… What were we talking about again?