We’re not the type of people who need a reason to drink. If we’re breathing that’s reason enough. But for those who need more, here you go:
1. Emojis: The battle for DeAndre Jordan’s contract got heated on Wednesday between the Mavs and the Clippers. When words weren’t enough, they turned to emojis, and things got weird. Take a drink for every pixel you see in Paul Pierce’s attempt to join the conversation.
2. Running of the Bulls: The Fiesta de San Fermin in Pamplona, Spain started this week and will continue until next Tuesday. As if Shark Week weren’t enough, now you can worry about being gored by a stray bull.
3. Donuts: Ariana Grande probably licked your donut according to a surveillance video that leaked from a Cali bakery. It shows her and her boyfriend licking donuts that they hadn’t bought before saying “I hate America”. Word on the street is if you play her songs backwards, you’ll hear the same thing.
4. 7 Days In Hell: If the real life Wimbledon isn’t your cup of tea then head to HBO this weekend to watch the tennis mockumentary starring Kit Harington and Andy Samberg. It tells the story of an orphan that Venus and Serena Williams’ family adopted, and it’s spectacular. Take a drink for every moment you hope your wife doesn’t walk in the room.
5. Mount Fuji: Japan’s popular natural attraction is activating eight Wi-Fi hot spots so climbers can now FaceTime, call home, and Snapchat on their hikes. Unfortunately, you’ll still need to stand on that chair in the corner of the room to send texts in your basement.