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Last summer, we saw Red Robin tarnish their menu by adding their signature “Can-Crafted Cocktails.” We spent months of agony having to avert our eyes from the bottom of their drink menu. We asked ourselves over and over, “why did this lovely chain restaurant feel the need to reach beyond its calling?” A chain restaurant just isn’t the place for beer cocktails. And to make matters worse, they brought the phrase “reusable beer can” to existence. No, Red Robin, no.

And just when we thought the madness would cease, Red Robin hit us hard again. This summer, they will be releasing two more of these Can-Crafted monstrosities:

Wildbeer–y Can-Crafted Cocktail: Combines Redd’s Strawberry Ale with Tito’s Vodka, Red Robin’s strawberry-raspberry purée and Minute Maid Lemonade. And to top it off, it’s available in a collector’s edition baseball and American flag-themed can. Thank goodness for that.

Beer ‘Rita Can-Crafted™ Cocktail: Sauza Blue Silver Tequila, triple sec and Red Robin’s house-made sweet & sour mix topped with a Coronita. Cute.

So when we stop by Red Robin this summer, we’ll be ordering a soda. The decision is all yours folks; either choose to maintain your dignity, or succumb to the madness that is a “reusable beer can.”

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